Very few disappointments compare to the one you experience when you like someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you. I remember when I was crazy about a young lady and wanted her to be my girlfriend. I saved up my money and bought this beautiful bracelet to give her. It was costume jewelry of course. I couldn’t afford the real thing, but my mom helped me pick it out, so I had confidence that it was nice. Over and over, I had run the scenario around in my head about how things were going to play out. She would be overjoyed by my display of undying love, and we would be together forever. Looking back, I had no real assurances that she even ‘liked me-liked me’, but she smiled at me a few times and had let me share her book in English class one day. That was enough for me. It took me two weeks to work up the nerve to give her the bracelet I had bought, and when I finally did, the whole thing went nothing like I had imagined. It was one of the most disappointing and embarrassing moments I’d ever experienced, and I remember it like it was yesterday.

Most of us get over the let-down of these disappointments, but we never forget them, and they can potentially chip away at our confidence level as we mature and get older. Because of what we’ve experienced in our pasts, sometimes we don’t take the initiative to express our interest to someone we’d like to get to know better. Then, we beat ourselves up because we feel like we’re letting a good thing get away. On the other side of this, we can become hyper-critical, nitpicking and squabbling over attributes that don’t have anything to do with the core of who the person is. We want someone who’s dang near perfect when we don’t come close to that ideal ourselves. This is just a coverup for our own insecurities.

We all desire certain things in life. We believe these blessings will help us to live a more fulfilled and complete existence. Whether it’s a spouse, more money; a new job, house, car, or better health, we continually pray about these desires. If the fruition of them takes longer than we’d like, some of us become disillusioned in the faith. We might think that God doesn’t hear us, doesn’t care, or perhaps He is withholding a blessing. None of these are true. Psalm 84:11(NLT) tells us, “For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.” Heavenly Father doesn’t withhold blessings ever, so when it comes to a delay, there must be something else we must consider.

In Proverbs 4:23(NLT), God warns, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” The heart determines the course of our lives. It is the place where our faith in the Lord takes root. This is important for us to know. Hebrews 11:6 tells us that we cannot please God without faith. So, faith must be anchored in our hearts as we approach the throne of God seeking His mercy and grace, as well as any other blessing. If our faith isn’t where it needs to be, God doesn’t dismiss us, He helps us! But we must ask for His help.

James 4:2(NLT) says, “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” This is crucial information, because sometimes we ask God for the desires of our hearts with no intention of actually changing our hearts. Sometimes the disappointments from heartbreak and hurtful events we have experienced in the past is still running a program of doubt in our hearts and minds. This is preventing us from walking in faith. When this happens, our motives are out of alignment, because God’s priority is that our hearts will be changed by His love.

Heavenly Father loves for us to come to Him. He loves to bless us, but we have a responsibility as His sons and daughters to learn to pray with the right motives. This means we must ask ourselves if the disappointments of our past are hurting our faith. Are we avoiding a confrontation with things that make us comfortable in disobedience—things that cause us to hold back and not give God our all? If so, this will impede us from building momentum and stamina on this faith journey. We must be brutally honest with ourselves as much as possible and begin to ask God to reveal to us the areas where we need to grow. He has the answers we need, and He is always willing to provide them.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

“Are Disappointments of Your Past Hurting Your Faith?”, written by JMack, theChristianMan.com© 2019. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.